Another IPhone...Really??

How dumb does Apple think the general public is? Obviously not only do they think we are dumb, they proved SOME of us are. And when I say some of us, I mean the ridiculously retarded people who waited outside of Apple stores nationwide for the latest, not greatest Apple trick.

I want to go ahead and apologize now if you are one of the intellectually deficient people who fell for another Apple marketing scam. I want to apologize for you not being smart enough to think for yourself and also for the fact that I'm going to go on a rant and if you continue to read, you will be offended!

So what's the hype all about? Well according to the people on the news who waited in line or ran down the halls of the mall it's the following things:

1. 5 MP camera - Big woop. My Motorolla Backflip has one of those. Isn't it a Droid phone that has the 8MP camera out and a 12MP on the way? Just sayin. Maybe by Iphone 8 they'll catch up to 2010 standards
2. Video that doesn't zoom - Well my Motorolla Backflip has one of those too. My Blackberry Curve from 3 years ago had that too.
3. A built in video editing app - Um....don't they make an app for that? I know they do on the Droid market.
4. A flash for the camera - it's about friggin time. My Motorolla Razr from 7 years ago had that. Way to get up and show everyone you are so awesome Apple....idiots
5. Fancier screen - You better. You released 3 friggin Iphones that were all the same screen. Holy shit. I'd be beyond pissed if they didn't come up with something nicer. I had my Iberry app that made my screen on my Blackberry look the same as the Iphone like 5 years ago. About time....take a bow already.
6. Longer battery life - so you finally admit that your Iphone does suck in more than 1 way
7. Smaller - So is my cordless home phone.....big deal
8. Metallic Frame - wow....upgrade from cheap plastic to cheap metal. I believe several phones already have that
9. The highest data package in the business - Yup...jealousy is kicking in right about now! Let's see....$54.95 or Android/Blackberry Package at $29.99......wow....I need an Iphone....NOW
10. 4G capable - Great job guys. There is no 4G network to connect to. Great selling feature

The best news I've seen about the new Iphone....there's already a complaint list:
1. Screen has a yellow hue to it due to the HD not being up to par
2. Phone signal is worse than Iphone 3GS
3. I have a 4G phone on a modified 3G system. Don't worry, the 4G will be here in time for Iphone 5 so you brainless morons can stand in line for it next year!

Well I can't say the following things:
1. I have the Iphone 4,3, 3G, 3gs, Iphone or whatever the 2nd one was called.
2.I have 2nd rate features on my overpriced phone that can't be fixed or insured by my provider
3.I didn't get ripped off by Steve Jobs and his band of marketing marvels.

But what I can say is that I have a phone that does all of the things that Iphone does, paid nothing for it, pay half as much for service that actually works, can toggle between apps while talking on the phone, take a leak on it and have it replaced for $25. Thank you Apple for proving how smart I am and how dumb your faithful followers are.

THE RANT IS OVER.....THANK YOU

Beef O'Brady's Nuclear Wing Challenge

Since I'm new to the whole blogging thing, I'm usually the guy who forgets to blog immediately after I do something. I usually remember a few days later then casually post something. But today my friends, It's a different story all together! And I decided to take a break from my normal cigar posts to show my versatility!!

For Father's Day, my girlfriend asked what I wanted to do. I suggested Beef O' Brady's. The last time I was there I read about their Nuclear Wing Challenge. I wussed out and went for the Xtra Hot wings. I finished 20 with ease. So I vowed to knock down the challenge issued by Beef's. Since that last visit, I managed to catch a promotion by The Monsters in the Morning on 104.1FM WTKS in Orlando, FL. The guys on the show kept talking about how they couldn't finish the challenge. I kept listening thinking it was another bit on the radio. I've heard them pull many of stunts over on people in the name of ratings. Plus I'm a guy with an extensive hot sauce collection. Everything from Spank My Ass and Call Me Sally to the Colon Cleaner is in my cubboards just in case. I also love to get hot sauces at Firehouse subs, Tijuana Flats, and anywhere else I can get my hands on them. Naturally I thought this was going to be an easy challenge.

So I put in the order. The waitress told me she was going to take my drink from me as per the rules of the contest. I decided to make it easier for her by just downing my 2 beers(gotta love happy hour!).

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!

I was understandably nervous. From the marketing and the poster on the wall, this seemed like a hugely impossible feat. I've seen Adam Richman from The Travel Channel's Man Vs. Food attempt to eat hot wings with the infamous ghost pepper in it and actually fail one time. If that isn't enough to freak you out, then I don't know what would!

Here I am with the wings in front of me and ready to go:

Notice that I'm still smiling!

The first wing was hot with a nice taste of spice. The 2nd wing is where the ghost pepper really kicked in. I felt myself starting to sweat just a little. Notice the puffy eyes & the not so happy face!
By the 3rd wing, I was in trouble BUT I was only 3 minutes in. After 5 wings, I was down to 1 wing per minute. Here's the kicker: you have 15 minutes to eat the 15 now insanely hot wings. My girl was attempting to hold back her laughter as she watched me struggle with wings 5-10. I really wanted a beer, water, 3 day old coffee, something....anything, but no....that was against the rules. I was down to 3 wings to go with about 3 minutes left when the new waitress came over and said I had about 2 minutes according to her stopwatch. I almost died. Panic started to set in. I thought for sure I would only get 14 of the 15 down and I would be so close...wah wah wah....thank you for trying. What the off going waitress forgot to mention is there was a minute variation between the stopwatch and when I actually started. So I naturally freaked out when there was 48 seconds left with 2 wings to go!! It took everything in me to gut down those last 2 wings, but dammit I wasn't going to quit now.

I did manage to get them down with only 20 seconds...actually 1 minute & 20 seconds left in the challenge. The bad news: my face felt like someone punched me in the mouth and I was sweating uncontrollably for the next 20 minutes. I downed 2 more beers to try to cool myself down. The only thing that did was make the battle begin in my stomach for dominance between the super hot wings & the cold beer.

Thank you Beef O' Brady's for making this challenge. I now know that I enjoy hot food but maybe hot food challenges aren't for me. I guess it's a sign of growing up. But HEY.... it's scratched off my bucket list & I got a T-shirt out of the deal!